My zit

I have the biggest zit ever on my chin. How is it possible to still get zits this big at my age??? I understand maybe a little whitehead here and there due to a clogged pore, but a mini Mount Vesuvius?? C'mon! Not only is it huge but it also doesn't cover up well AND it brought a little friend who's down and to the right. Lucky for me it showed up Friday just in time for a weekend filled with seeing friends and family. <>.

The way I figure it, I have several options: 1.) I can name it and give it a permanent place on my chin (a "mini" chin, if you will), 2.) I can buy a HUGE neon sign, attach it to my head and help people notice it even more than they already do, or 3.) <> I can quit my bitchin' and suck it up like everybody else who deals with acne and hope it goes away quickly. Hmmmmm..... Looks like I'll have to go with mini chin.

Fly girl

You may or may not know this, but I am a fly swatter ninja. It's true. Every Spring when the flies start showing up in the house I grab my trusty (but cheap) pink or green fly swatters and stick one of them up on top of the fridge for easy access. Then when I see a fly (or flies) buzzing around I slip into a zen frame of mind and start swatting in a Matrix style around the kitchen. You should see my slow motion, high arc, backflip swat. It's poetry in motion.

At the beginning of the season it's not exactly challenging. The flies are new and slow and haven't been swatted at a whole lot. But as Spring heads into Summer, they get smarter, faster, and more leary. That's when I feel we become true adversaries. I start talking to the in bad voice-over, lips don't match the words, old Japanese movie talk as I stealthy stalk them through the house. They die anyway, and I trash the house chasing after them, but at least the kids get some good Summer entertainment......as they root for the fly.

Nemesis

Russ has a nemesis. They're called dandelions and they inhabit our back yard. Year after year he tries, unsucessfully, to eliminate any trace of these unsightly weeds. And year after year they beat him inot submission.

I too have a nemesis. I shall call her ex-babysitting-mom-who-is-now-a-crazy-psycho (or e.b.m.w.i.n.a.c.p. for short).

Testing....testing. 1..2..3....Is this thing on?

So....here we are. I've finally entered the blog world. Believe it or not, I actually tried other outlets before I succombed. I'm on Facebook, but sometimes there's just not enough room on the newfeed to write all that I want. Then I recently tried to start writing a book. I didn't get very far. I don't tell stories in long form that would fill a chapter. (Although I will say, my book had a kickass title.) So -voila!- here we are at my blog. Longer than the FB newsfeed, but shorter than a book. Perfect. And I'm just narcissistic enough to believe that everyone will want to read what I have to say.